"oh it flies away... it can't ever be caught or described. For it is one earth, one movement and another earth another earth in a moment or two.

Life itself is an un-finished sentence, or a few haphazard brush strokes. Nothing stays. Nothing is completed. I can make nothing whole from it, however small...

The meaning of a painting is a voice crying out:' Isaw it, before it vanished, it was thus.' An honest painting would never be finished; an honest novel would stop in the middle of a sentence. There is no shutting life in a cage, turning the key with a full stop with a stroke of paint."
wreath of roses
elizabeth taylor

SECOND CHANCES

Its not unlike me to be completely taken over by things to jump headlong into things and then later wonder what i was thinking or why I was deluding myself at the time that i was thinking. Do you do that sometimes? Do stuff thats so wrong you don't know if you'll ever do right again? And then comes that miracle- the second chance. That new page you can write on after someone rubbed out the scribbles you'd mad. Its not a clean page but its a page, you get to do it over.

The thing about second chances is that we create them we decide for ourselves that we are worth those second chances. How we see ourselves determines how other people see us and how they relate to us.

"... no matter what we start with it always ends up being so much less..."
Richard 'the hours'
We will always fall short of our expectations, and of others expectations of us and yet we must remember that it ends up being something, this life of ours no matter how much less we think it is. Learn to forgive yourself, learn to love your self. You are worth this chance and the next and the one after that

theres a meeting of
old fears
aged tears
in my soul tonight.

theres a remembrance
of cold aches
and heart breaks
deep in my soul
this night

theres a dirge of
muted screams
and shattered dreams
sung by this soul
on all nights.


theres a wake held
for a child, a friend, a love
remembered

and this soul of mine
is loving you still